The Glorious Journey Home
Context and Form
In light of what has been said before, let me go back to the relationship, let me have another look at the dream. It is I who play every part, every character, every situation in my dream. All of it is just a play in my mind, a bunch of seemingly diverse parts all made up of the one mind-stuff. Just like the waves and spray and ice and clouds and fog and snow and rain and vapor and foam that can be found on the surface of the ocean are all just water, and nothing but water. Water is the context, the background field; and all these varieties of water make up the different forms in that field. Similarly, in the totality of my awareness, God, the Divinity is the Context. Or, what is the same, I, the true I, the Self, am the Context. Whether I call it ocean or water, God or I, it is all there is. The multiplicity of objects and ideas and feelings and experiences making up the human condition are the forms.
As a human being I pay no attention to the context, which is the undifferentiated uniform wholeness. I pay attention only to the form. That is what I see with my eyes and mind; that is what attracts me or repels me. And as mentioned above, that is also the name and form of God that, as a human being, I hold in my mind; wherein I give God special characteristics and attributes, and so, associate Him also with form
Form is the idea of separation, of difference. That is what I want to preserve. I have made up this world of form and I love my creation. To continue to view a world of diverse forms as real, I have to ignore the context, for context speaks of oneness and wholeness and non-difference. I have to banish the awareness of context out of my mind. For it is dangerous to me. It will be my undoing. In this, of course, I am speaking as the I who is aligned with the idea of ego and self-determination, self-sufficiency, and self-dependency. These are my allies, my best friends, whom I have put in charge of maintaining my all-important gap.
But, in truth, form is context. There is nothing that is ever not context. The wave is the water, as is the cloud, as is the fog, etc. It is all the one ocean. Form does not give rise to context. Context sets the conditions for unmanifested form to manifest into form. In the presence of context a potential is activated and form appears. But form is merely an out picturing. It is insubstantial; it is an imagined thing; it is not real. Context is of eternity, form is of time and space. Form is not important. Context is all-important.
In this metaphor, the ocean… the water… which is the context, is what is important. It is real. It is what is. The forms are just temporal, spatial, constantly changing expressions of that one unchanging ocean. If I suppress the awareness of form, i.e., remove the idea of form, nothing in eternity is affected. It makes no real difference. But, if I suppress the awareness of context in my mind, in other words, if I see only the different forms without reference to the one unifying context that alone is real, then I'm really seeing nothing. That is what I've attempted to do in my mind.
So for me, although I believe it is real, what I call ‘world' is nothing. It is meaningless as long as I program my mind to be unaware of context. And this is what I choose to do in order to maintain the little gap that preserves my separate identity… holding the idea of separate forms with no relation to context. But when I see the oneness of context and form, when, no matter what I call it, or what it seems to be one moment to the next, I know that all there is is the infinite Divine Field… God… I… the One… the Self… the Context, then the world itself is seen to be God. Form becomes transparent; it fades into the background and the splendorous radiance of the all-encompassing God presence takes its place in foreground. That is called the Real World in the Course. It is the last fading glimpse of duality before I re-emerge in my true natural state, as the one eternal ocean of Light.
Then, can it be said that God is the Cause and the world of form the effect? No. God, the Creator, the Source, the Context, the singular Reality, is the one Cause; but form is not the effect of that Cause… form is not God's creation. Form, as expressed in the world I see, including ‘myself' and ‘others' in it, is not real. It doesn't exist. It is an imagined appearance in duality. Being unreal, uncaused, uncreated, God does not know of it. It comes about because there appears to be a boundary where God and non-God or world, meet in my mind. But such can never be and, therefore, is meaningless.
Consider the Sun. It constantly radiates its light. Clouds arise because of the presence of that radiance. As seen from the Earth, they cast shadows and try to blot out the Sun; but the Sun doesn't know of this. It doesn't see clouds or shadows; it sees only its own light reflected back. Or, consider the ocean. Looking out from deep within itself, ocean sees only ocean; it doesn't see the surface and the many different forms of water there. Because there exists the ocean, all those divergent forms arise at the boundary, the discontinuity, where ocean and non-ocean meet. They are made up of the ocean, and yet they try to cover and hide the ocean when seen from beyond; but the ocean is not concerned. Or, consider fire. In a similar way to the above, because of fire ashes appear and try to cover the fire. But fire is not aware of it.
So it is with all illusion… ego, bodies, forms, shadows, darkness, world, thoughts and ideas, time and space arise inexplicably in the mind, in the presence of Source. They appear at the boundary where the seeming possibility of something other than everything is entertained. Once they appear, they hide the Source, as seen from the reference point of their delusional outlook. But Source is not aware of them. They are unrelated to It; they are not caused. They are nothing…. just passing clouds. They have no effect. So, they are not my concern. I need only to keep my mind on context …. I need to heed only Immortality.
Love Alone Is The Answer
Initially, the Course in Miracles can be seen as a handbook, a guidebook for awakening. But as I immerse myself in it, I realize it is really a commentary on what is already happening. The time is already set, the happening is happening. In time I am awakening. In Reality I am home where I have always been. It is long since all over. I need do nothing. Independent of what is going on in the dream and independent of what I think I need to do to advance the cause of awakening, the glorious blossoming forth of Self-recognition as pure unbounded love is unfolding in my God-mind. The illusion of separation is fading away. The grand home-coming celebration scheduled long ago is already underway. I am returning to where I have always been in my glorious mind, and if I still harbor some doubts I can dispel them through the exalted account of my awakening given in the Course in Miracles.
Now that I have made my commitment to awakening, every relationship I have, in which I am always playing both parts, is there to remind me that the war with myself is over. I need no longer feel guilty about my separation from God, or my envy of God, or my need to project my guilt on to 'others' so that they will be the mean ones attacking my innocence, or conversely, be the admirable ones in whose shadow I feel very small and whose perfection I could never reach… all these are just different forms of the thousands of subtle and not-so-subtle manifestations of that most common human activity, the gap-maintenance industry, which has always been my preoccupation, and dominated my consciousness… but has never brought me peace.
What is the need for a gap when I am all of it, when it is always me on both sides of the gap? Where is the idea of guilt when I have never left God and when I am as united and one with Him now as I was before time began, and the mad idea of separation came into my mind? I now know that nothing happened. I am home where I have always been. I am not a body. I am not guilty. I can have no fear. I am free. I, the Son of God, I the Christ, am at home in my Creator… Who is home in me. Even more magnificent than that, as Sai Baba constantly reminds, I am the God-head Itself. Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh . I am That I am. I am the Infinite Supreme. I am the embodiment of Sat Chit Ananda, pure Beingness, Awareness, Bliss. I am in no way different from God. God and I are forever One.
What else is there but to be supremely happy and eternally grateful?
Turning to you for a moment, dear brother… dear sister… you who exist as a blessed thought in my mind. I celebrate your holiness. I love you with all my heart. Insanely, I made up time and space in my mind, to fabricate a thought of a ‘me' and a ‘you' separate from ‘me'. And I projected on to you all sorts of actions and behaviors and characteristics to reinforce the perceived gap between us. But now, awakening to the Truth, I see past all these made-up perceptions to the Love that you truly are, which is the one God-mind that we share. When I see you truly, that Love reflects back to me and I am embraced by it. And so, what was an illusory idea of separation becomes transformed into the remembrance of the God-Self which is the One Reality. And so, your presence in my mind heals my mind and returns me to Source.
In my love for you I experience a universal love that envelops everything, and that shows me the alternative to the fear I always feared… of what would happen if I were to totally let go and disappear into God, surrendering the last remnant of my gap. Instead of obliteration I discover the blissful Kingdom of Heaven, which has replaced all my baseless catastrophic expectations of annihilation. In my total joining with you in love, we, as separate beings disappear. Only God remains. Only the One I remains. I. Freedom. I. Love. I. Heaven. Home. God…
…. And so ends an unending story of an eventful but certain journey… of a glorious return to the home I never left.
I remain, ever, your very Self.