From the Uddhava Gita of the Bhagavantam
was a public woman called Pingala. I
have learnt something from her. One
day she put on a beautiful dress and waited at the door of her house to
receive customers for the night. With
this inordinate desire she waited sleeplessly at the door, now going in,
now coming out, until midnight. Through
this anxious expectation of money, she spent the night in a fever of hope,
worry and disappointment. She felt extreme disgust for her life of greed
and desire which made her unhappy.
her utter disappointment she thought to herself. 'Indifference to worldly
objects is like a sword for cutting assunder all the cords of desire and
expectation. One does not wish to get rid of bondage of the body until one
has become disgusted. No man
rids himself of the notions of 'mine' or 'I' or the clinging to objects
until he gains some insight into the truth and becomes disgusted with the
meanness of his life. Plingala said, 'How deluded am I for want of control
over my mind! How foolish I have been to seek the satisfaction of desires
from such puny creatures as men! Discarding the eternal Atma seated in my
heart, who is a fit lover and can satisfy me, who can give me ever-lasting
bliss and wealth, I am courting worthless men who cannot satisfy my
desires and who cause misery, fear, disease, grief and infatuation.
I have been very stupid indeed.
have allicted my soul by this most reproachable mode of living. I have
sought wealth and pleasure from pitiable mortals, who are greedy and
slaves of women, by selling my body to them. How can I be carried away by
living a life catering only to the body which is a house of bones covered
with skin, hair and nails and furnished with nine openings for discharging
filth, offal and urine?
this town full of wise beings, I am the only woman who has tied her hopes,
happiness and desire to the body. I
have become a silly, wicked woman who seeks enjoyment in the objects of
desire instead of in the merciful Lord, who bestows Self-Realization. I
will win Him over by giving up the body to Him; then I shall enjoy His
company like Lakshmi and find everlasting happiness in Him alone.
I must have done something in my previous births to propitiate the Lord
for it is by His grace alone that this dispassion and disgust, cutting at
the very root of all my desires, has arisen in my mind. Through His grace
I have attained the way to ever-lasting happiness and peace. If the Lord
had not blessed me, such disappointments leading to renunciation and
dispassion, would not have arisen; they enable me to abadon all
attachments and attain happiness.
accept, with humble devotion, this gift of the Lord. I now abandon all evil desires and take refuge in the Supreme
Lord. Contented, full of
faith in the Lord, living on what chance brings to me, I shall enjoy the
eternal bliss of the Paramatman. Who
else but the Lord can save this Jiva who has fallen into the deep pit of
Samsara with eyes blinded by objects, with the vision robbed by the
senses, and who is being swallowed up by the serpent of Time?'
Sanyasin said, "Pingala
having thus fixed her mind on the Lord, gave up all hopes and expectations
due to hankering for lovers, and sat on her bed with a serene mind. She
abandoned all desires that troubled her and became happy. She slept
soundly with a tranquil mind. It is hope that gives us trouble. Without
hope we are happy. Desires, hopes and expectations are the source of
grief. Abandonment of all expectations and desires is the greatest bliss.
It is the happiest state. Vairagya is the source of bliss as can be seen
from Pingala who slept happily, casting aside the hankering for lovers.